Write your novel in 30 days!

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Wait, hang on...

Hahahahahahaahaha!

Haha!

If you look at the advice there is for writers, you will know it is mostly of two kinds.

Kind 1) Write, write, write! Keep writing! And from your labors, your story will emerge. This is the sort of chiseling-sculpture out of marble way of doing things, except you are also creating the block of marble you chisel.
Kind 2) Plan, plan, plan! And then write! Character bios, research, etc., etc. This is more like building a suspension bridge.

I am more the first kind of writer, not because I think it works better, but because I literally will not do preliminary work. I will say I am going to, and I will sit down to do it, but somehow, it does not happen; anything that is supposed to be preliminary work just gets glommed on to the block of marble I am working with. At the same time, I benefit from organization, and structure. Because I have none internally, I rely on external cues for it. This is also why I kind of wish I had been brought up with some religion - I think it's good to alienate yourself from certain cognitive processes. Anyways.

My point is, I use a lot of different programs to write.

The first one is WriteRoom. It has the advantage of being totally beautiful. I paid for it, and so should you, but you can try it for free first. Anyway, remember NotaBene? Just you and a black screen with green characters? Or orange, sometimes, but I preferred green? That is basically this. It's good for eliminating distractions - I also write in a dark room, which helps with that.* So. This is the amazing first draft program. V. v. womb-like. I am not sure if you are the fetus, and the novel is the placenta or vice versa, but.

THEN, I import what I have written in to Google Docs, and fuck around and highlight it in different colors and make notes and theoretically, my agent or whoever else can make notes. It is collaborative, and colorful. This is like when the fetus goes in to surgery. Or, you know, starts differentiating cell types, or something.

However, I use TextEdit if I want to work with more than one piece simultaneously, and have tried various content-mapping programs for organizing - still looking for the right one. This is totally not at all like a fetus.

This has been the first point in a series on How To Create External Structures to Supplement your Cognitive Deficiencies. The problem being, you are devising and implementing these structures with the same fucked up brain you have in the first place. And maybe it's all just procrastination! I suspect it is!

*Not blog posts. That's silly, this isn't real.

In which I indulge in some old-fogeyism

I recently joined Facebook, in part to belong to the networks that students at Professional School For Staid Profession are creating, because I am Self-Actualizing, and Making an Effort to Talk to People. It's ok, but there's nothing new under the internet. I do not totally understand how I am supposed to maintain an active Facebook presence AND write a novel AND put food on my family, but I guess I'll figure it out.

I did realize that I am sort of freaking out because:

1) a lot of these people are 22 who I am going to be in school with. WTF am I going to do with that? I experienced a cosmic break with my youthful self at about 23 and a half and have been rendered totally unable to relate to anyone younger than me,* or to myself in the past.

2) I am really, really bad at thinking clearly, and even baderer at speaking clearly about my thoughts. I am not bad at a certain kind of ponderous intellectual exploration, or at immersing myself in a concept, but clarity, eh. This means I am going to be totally effucked at PSFSP.

3) It would not be a bad idea to embrace being a little bit effucked, since I am not 22, and have ideas for my time at PSFSP beyond being the amazing flying valedictorian/going to mixers. Who's that in the catsuit? That's just that old effucked chick! She totally has different priorities from us, and doesn't care all that much about grades! Something like that.

4) The novel is totally going to be divided in to books. This was a real revelation for me.

*Except for several of my best friends.